Books for Emotional Healing & Transformation

“Family dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation, like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow.”
~ Terry Real

Emotional Healing & Transformation Library

Each of these books brings an enormous impact to me and greatly shapes my personal healing journey, as well as my teaching and healing work. I consider it my personal mission to share this powerful knowledge because it has been so pivotal in my own personal growth as well as professional development.
Disclaimer: these are Amazon affiliate links. If you purchase these books by following these links, you’ll help me out a bit and I’ll appreciate it a lot!

Hold Me Tight:
Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

By Dr. Sue Johnson

Hold Me Tight

While this book focuses on couple’s repair and healing, the process outlined by Dr. Sue Johnson is truly remarkable and goes way beyond couples’ therapy. EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on using the energy of emotion to create change and transformation. Emotion is the primary change element; by feeling, expanding and deepening emotional reality, we create change events, healing, and a deeply profound transformational experience that lasts. 
| Kindle | Paperback |

Love Sense:
The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships

By Dr. Sue Johnson

In this second book, Dr. Sue Johnson goes into the research that demonstrates the power of using our emotions to create powerful transformational experience. Again, while she focuses on couples’ work, deepening and unpacking our emotions is an art and now a new science that can be used by anyone, regardless of relationship status.
| Kindle | Hardcover |

I Don’t Want to Talk About It:
Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

By Terry Real

Buckle your seatbelt, this book will shatter the illusions and limitations of manhood, paving a way for men to have bigger, more open hearts. Getting right down to the heart of the matter, with distinct clarity Terry Real takes down the myths of manhood and invulnerability that have hobbled men’s emotional development for eons, producing an ever increasing epidemic of covert male depression. Terry explores the dynamics of grandiosity (going one-up) and shame (going one-down) and how these two polarities play out in the socialization of boys and men in our culture, the destruction these dynamics leave in their wake, and the way out of this insane cycle that is passed on from generation to generation. 
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How Can I Get Through to You?:
Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women

By Terry Real

Terry Real deconstructs the myths of manhood that keep men from opening their hearts and being present in relationships, and sheds light on why there is a profound disconnect between men and women today. Exposing the widening gap between women’s empowerment and men’s invulnerability, Terry blazes a path through the quagmire of social conditioning and guides us to a place where men and women can connect, where men can be present, open hearted and strong, and women can soften while fully committing to their empowerment. Vulnerability and strength are not opposing forces, but part of the same wholeness that incorporates yielding with firmness, and strength with softness. 
| Kindle | Paperback |

The Emotionally Focused Casebook:
New Directions in Treating Couples

By James L. Furrow, Susan M. Johnson, Brent A. Bradley

This book is a great addition to the expanding field of EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy, which uses the raw power of emotion to create deeply healing and transformational experience. Admittedly, no matter how many skills we learn, it is precisely when our emotions flood our reality that we need those skills, and it is at those times that those skills become inaccessible! When we use the power of emotions to change experience, we literally re-wire the reactive patterns of our brain and nervous system; then our emotional body allows and enables us to create an entirely new dance. While EFT focuses mainly on couples for now, I believe that the work of Dr. Sue Johnson is far more profound than anyone yet realizes. For the first time in the history of Western civilization, western science is actually studying emotion and taking it seriously! The process of feeling, deepening, and unpacking emotion is one of the most powerful gateways we have to truly deep and profound transformational experience that lasts. 
| Kindle | Paperback |

The New Rules of Marriage
By Terry Real

Not just for married couples, Terry Real, in his 3rd book, brings us a real hands on manual that gets right down to the heart of communication blocks, and opens up paths for us to develop, grow, and mature ourselves. Regardless of relationship status, this book guides and supports us in ways that many of us longed for while growing up and didn’t receive, watching and listening to parents that often lacked relational skills. While this book’s voice is written as if addressing the women of our times, it can benefit both men and women in our quest to understand what it means to be whole, open, and accessible in a world that is becoming incredibly relational.
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The State of Affairs:
Rethinking Infidelity

By Esther Perel

Chances are, your life will be touched by affairs in one way or another. Whether you are the friend or sibling of someone in the throes of an affair, the child witness to one, or one of the three characters in the triangle, or perhaps a professional counselor or life coach suddenly in a position to offer help and support. In one way or another, you may suddenly find yourself part of a story that you didn’t audition for. Perhaps you want to know what drives affairs and what can be done to avoid them, or how to re-pair and heal in the aftermath of one. Wherever you find yourself, Esther Perel delivers a compelling and at times difficult window into her therapy practice, where she deals with the realities of affairs in all their forms.
| Kindle | Paperback |